Follies never end!

Though my follies seem to be never-ending in this life of mine, they do bring me some good things that could not otherwise be had...

While i was in the subway, with Aadhar - whom i accidentally bumped into at the Borough Hall station, i realized that my friendship with him would never have come about if not for my follies in life.

........During one of the orientation session days I, myself entered NYU-Poly once again not knowing what i am going to do once inside. I walked inside, saw a front desk where students were writing their names down, getting a new bag with the NYU-Poly logo and myself did the same. I saw them all going into a decorated hall where i knew that the Graduate Toast Party was to take place at night. I entered it along with the rest and saw a Indian looking face in the last seat all alone by himself. Finding nobody else whom i met on the previous days i went to him and introduced myself. An announcement was made which i could not hear well. So, as everybody got up and moved, me too moved - but i saw many staying inside the hall too. I left with the rest to the Pfizer Auditorium.


Very few are here. That is fine, i took a seat. Next to me, the boy to whom i spoke sat - Aadhar, is the 'little' kid's name. On the other side of me another boy sat. After 10 minutes he smiled at me. Me too smiled back "Are you Indian?" - my first question! "No, i am not"."I am sorry, you do look like one!". We spoke about our departments. I asked "Where did you do your undergraduation?". "I am here to do my undergraduation".

Something rolled within me, a restlessness. I am here for Graduate studies, but him...I turned to Aadhar - "Are you a graduate student?"(I forced the question out of me unwilling to hear a 'yes'). He said "yes". What should be the next question now???

I had sat there for the seminar for about 15 mins by now. He asked me "Are you not undergrad?". "By no way!!! I am a GRAD". I felt so helpless when i uttered the next question "Please, can you tell me whether this seminar is meant for undergrads?". "yes, it is". I was perplexed and embarrassed at myself especially when i faced these 2 small kids on either side of me. I picked up my belongings and left the hall immediately.

Nobody would take back the bag i got for free when i signed up as an undergrad in the entrance. So i went to one of the rooms and kept the bag on a chair.

...Now coming back to subway 4 - It was soon Grand Central and we parted ways.As i was walking towards track 27 to get my Metro North i just smiled at myself as i was not sad anymore for that folly of mine landed me with a 'small' good friend - a junior friend.

Hey You, Give Me Back my....

Now, that is the kind of umbrella my papa got for me from Chennai before i came here. It is as beautiful as the umbrella in the picture except that its green.

Everyday i must get 2 trains to get to my university and the 2nd train is a subway which is pretty much crowded most of the times. So yesterday, i was reading a book ' Sashwathabhujangalil' and i had fixed a target because of which while in the metro-train itself i put the highest volume on my IVO and was reading the book at a high pace. When i got down at the Grand Central too i was walking and reading, finally entered the subway which was crowded to such an extent that one more person could not be squeezed into it without damage.

I was clinging on to a pole so that i wouldnt fall and my legs were stuck between the wheel and the handle of a cycle which some people were carrying in the train. My umbrella was under my arm with its holding curved end downwards and the top edge facing me. The subway stopped at the first stop when i was busy reading as some crowd was leaving the train, probably more entering. I was being squeezed from sides, behind but i didnt pay attention as i was reading and listening to song at the maximum volume. At every station the train doors open and close automatically after some time. I could now feel something going down from me. I saw my umbrella, the one i was carrying around everywhere and which i loved so much, going away along with the crowd. It was all so fast, and now it was on the escalator.

I saw my dear umbrella hanging on to the handle of the bag of a man in a business suit who was practically running maybe to catch another train. Here esp in the city people are mighty busy. He was not knowing that he was carrying my prized possession.

Now i was in the biggest dilemma. I did not know whether to stay in the train and miss my umbrella or to go run after my umbrella and miss my train and get stranded in the station. So i stood there and cried "oooh, my umbrella...". Nobody responded when i looked around. So now i got the idea that i have to plunge into some action at the moment.

Gathering all my strength i pushed through all the crowd in the train, passed the doors, but my heart beating hard for a chance of missing my train, my eyes fixed on the man on the escalator carrying my umbrella. I ran after him all the way crying "Give me back my umbrella, thats mine, my umbrellaaaa..." and leaned all the way forward on the steps, turned around to plead inwardly for the train and now ACTION.....i pulled my umbrella that was hanging on his bag. The man leaned backwards as if to fall. Once again with a loud cry "My UmbrellaaA..." i turned around, ran down the steps, and shot into my train. As soon as i was in the train the doors closed. Thank you God.

People inside the train gave me a smile, but i could not smile after all the action, like the action heroes on screen, because my lips would not twitch into one!

My umbrella is more valauable to me now. Know why?

...Because when you strive hard to get back something that was once lost in your life, however big or small that maybe, from the moment you get it back it will be priceless in your life further...

My FiRst DaY at NYU-Poly

At 8:50 me and my uncle got the metro train from here upto the New York city. We were just on time to get the train. From there we took a subway to Borough Hall. As a first time experience it was great, but i dont know whether i will soon grow tired of it.
NYU Poly entrance and the areas were just like the pictures in my mins. But inside nothing was the picture in my imaginations, when i felt its all so intriguing. The first session was the session for International Students which was indeed quite dragging as well as boring so i made use of the time to observe my environment. The auditorium was a large one and i was getting a lot of goose bumps and almost shivered owing to the freezing cold inside. It was raining outside. I was broken-hearted when i turned all around to find only Chinese faces everywhere and very few other faces as of Indians or others. All the Chinese gathered together in groups. I was all alone on my own. Everybody ushered out for the lunch arranged as soon as the session was over, but i was taken to complete some of my initial procedures and by the time i got back the plates and vessels were all empty. I then took myself to the cafeteria and helped myself to a big slice of pizza. In bad need of a cup of tea, i took the cup, filled it with milk, but that was cold then my heart sank within me. I felt myself helpless and amusing like a Mr.Bean kid not knowing what to do. I then tried filling the cup with some water - which was fortunately hot. But the mixed up milk and water remained cold. I put a Lipton tea bag in it and also some sure. The tea wont form as the entire thing was cold in my hands. I paid and found myself a seat at the counter.
Since i was used to eating alone during my days back in India too, i did not feel so lonely about this. Still the thought that there was nobody here who cared a bit for me nagged me a lot at the back of my head and in the whole of my little small wonder heart. I went on meeting some other people and then returned for the next orientation session on Employment.

I found a seat for myself and prayed to God that somebody must talk to me for sure and give me some company. Then a Chinese girl - Jaisie, my first friend at NYU-Poly - came and sat next to me. We chatted a good deal. Very soon i got greatly acquainted with her. I felt a little comfortable in the new environment. Later after the session, both of us wandered off in our departments a little, her section being Tansportation Engineering and mine Financial Engineering.

The structure in front of NYU-Poly to which i am much drawn. I love this red structure. I even wish i could find a seat on the topmost one.

After that uncle called me up to tell me that i have to find my own way back to home as he was unable to come and get me. He offered me some directions. With my ipod plugged in my ears with the tamil songs beating within me, i walked through the rain to find the subway, boarded the train. Later getting down at Grand Central i then took the Metro back home. The travel back home was interesting as i were on my own. I took help from the people in the city - b/w the people here are very helpful. Their helpful nature makes you feel more secure wherever you are.

I was back home at the Mamaroneck from where i was taken home by my family who picked me up there. Having a little food i sank into the couch and never knew how and when i got to bed, but only remember waking up on a rainy morning at 1:45 in the morning.
I hope as the days go on my experience at the university will go better.

Small Wonder's note of ThAnks...

Some good moments of my life are passing by me now. I wish i could get hold of them just like when i was a small kid i got hold of a peacock's feather and hid it safe within my book and smiled joyously every time i saw it. But sadly i cannot snatch away these moments and hold them close to my heart. But i am not ready to lose heart. I have decided to turn them into sweet memories and treasure them within the inner folds of my small heart.


Most of the previous posts of 2009 have been about my pathetic situations in life, about the moments when my life neared death. Some have even been made when i was totally wrecked - reading them makes me feel like a knife is cutting through me and that i am bleeding badly.

Soooo, now why to be sad? As we all say - after a tiresome climb up-hill there must be a soothing journey down-hill. Some also say - God is never unfair. Even i say the same.

I had many friends, accomplices near and dear and even dearest in my 4 years of college life. Many of them, nearly all of them were never with me as i desired them to be with me or did empathize with me when i groaned badly and writhed under the pain of the harsh cruel trials in my life. It was then i realized that 'A friend in need is the greatest friend'. I am not one of the idea that friends or relations are ones with whom we laugh and that when we cry they vanish.

There were some blog-visitors of mine who imparted me the strength through their words being miles away. One among them is Abhilash Suryan Sir. This comment that he gave me months back on my post "The Bewilderment phase must end" i published it on my blog a few days before only.

Also my sincerest word of thanks to some of the unexpected friends who stood by me through my tough days - i wonder why they ever helped me, maybe God's angels they were. If not for these few people i would not have been what i am now cz i would have ended my life long back in January '09. Thanks my dear ones for saving my life.

Thanks to Lord Almighty and all my friends - his angels - that have drawn me out of the pathetic plight in my life and helped me to rise from that 'Lonely Bench'.

Now I am no longer desperate about what to do next as I have got an admission for MS in Financial Engineering in Polytechnic Institute of New York University for the fall 2009 stream and hence i am leaving on the 25th Aug, 2009. Once again thanks from the depth of my heart to all my sincere well-wishers.

Above all, God has been merciful enough to turn me into the Kerala University First Rank Holder for the B.Tech examination for Information Technology(2005-'09).

I am now transformed to a person who loves to extend a loving helping hand to the ones that groan under the pain in their lives.

Ready to HIT THE ROADS....

"Oh, dear dear dear God please don't let me fall off this bike now, please please let me make a good 8 and pass the test". This was what i kept mumbling all the time i was trying hard to make a seamless "8" on the Bajaj M80 taking my license test for motorcycle with gear.

On 24th July, i took my license test for car as well as for motorcycle with gear. I was the lone little girl who took my license for motorcycle 'with gear' - just because my parents wanted me to be the 'unique' Miss Wonder. And not because i have any big wish to go on our roads on a Big Bullet!



Here in Trivandrum currently tests are held at the Shangumugham ground - which is soon to be changed. So though the heat of the day may seem unbearable for the people waiting their license tests from as early as 6 am, the air from the sea with the WonDerFul fragrance does keep one as happy as ever - i was in fact made happy.

We - me, my amma and papa - made our presence in the ground at 6:30 am. I had a few trial rounds on the M80 which i saw for the first time the previous day only owing to the pitiable condition of my driving school's vehicles, and also 2 rounds of H on the car. After that the test began. I never forgot to hold my umbrella atop on constant fear of getting a bad tan on my face. :D

I initially had my H-test on car, then my awesome 8-test on M80 my road test on car and then on M80 - all pass and emerging all smiles at 2 pm with lots of thanks to GOD when i never expected to pass them all. So i am all ready as a good Certified Driver ready to jump on into my dream car - there in the pic - thats the type of car i like to drive and will surely OWN.

Heal The World - by Michael Jackson

This song, by the King of the Pop - Michael Jackson, is a must-hear for all the 'living'. Here i present the lyrics of the song.It is my all time favorite and makes me think of another part of the world which is otherwise neglected.


little girl talking -

((i think about the gererations
and thay say thay want to make it
a better place for our children & our children's children
so that thay thay thay know it's a better world for them
and i think thay can make it a better place))

There's A Place In Your Heart
And I Know That It Is Love
And This Place Could Be Much
Brighter Than Tomorrow
And If You Really Try
You'll Find There's No Need To Cry
In This Place You'll Feel
There's No Hurt Or Sorrow

There Are Ways To Get There
If You Care Enough For The Living
Make A Little Space
Make A Better Place...

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

If You Want To Know Why
There's A Love That Cannot Lie
Love Is Strong
It Only Cares For Joyful Giving
If We Try We Shall See
In This Bliss We Cannot Feel Fear Or Dread
We Stop Existing And Start Living

Then It Feels That Always
Love's Enough For Us Growing
So Make A Better World
Make A Better World...

...Heal The World

And The Dream We Were Conceived In
Will Reveal A Joyful Face
And The World We Once Believed In
Will Shine Again In Grace
Then Why Do We Keep Strangling Life
Wound This Earth Crucify Its Soul
Though It's Plain To See
This World Is Heavenly Be God's Glow

We Could Fly So High
Let Our Spirits Never Die
In My Heart I Feel You Are All My Brothers
Create A World With No Fear
Together We'll Cry Happy Tears
See The Nations Turn Their Swords Into Plowshares

We Could Really Get There
If You Cared Enough
For The Living
Make A Little Space
To Make A Better Place...

...Heal The World

You And For Me
Make A Better Place
You And For Me
heal the wordl we live in
You And For Me
save it for our children


The song is the first in the list in the Deezer player in my blog at present.
This post is also a tribute to the 'great songs' gifted to all of us by demised Michael Jackson.